I am not a “Butthole Wife”.

I am not a “Butthole Wife”.

Today I read a blog post from an individual that was very interesting. It was called “Stop Being a Butthole Wife.” You can read it here. Usually I read and move on, but this time I felt I needed to write a retort. So here is the other side. I’m not writing this post just for myself, but also for my daughter and future children who will read articles like those one day.  So here I go…

I was raised Christian so I understand the concept of women serving their husbands. I get it, but I guess I interpret the idea of “serving” ones spouse differently. While I agree that in any relationship there is give and take, and at some points you will need to pick your battles, relationships should be 100%/100%. Women are not on earth to do every domestic chore for their husbands. I do not believe asking my husband to put his dirty clothes in the hamper, or the washer, or other household chores as nagging.

I also get the notion that one day he wont be around. My husband does not work in a cubicle job. There is a possibility every day when he goes in to work that he might not come home. I live with that reality every single day. So out of love I make him meals, do the laundry, wake up in the middle of the night when he gets home to ask how his day was, but I still don’t fold his laundry and I still expect him to help out around the house. Why? Because I am not his mother, one day I am not going to be here to do all of these things for him, and because he is a role model for his own children. Love is a two-way street.

I do not want my daughter/children to learn that it is OK for their feelings to be put to the wayside. I do not want my children to feel that when they are frustrated or at their wit’s end with their spouses about things, whether it be laundry, financial issues, issues with the kids, that they bypass or bury that frustration and just throw it in the bucket of “I will miss this when he is gone.” or “I am a nagging wife.”. That is a disservice to them, and they need to speak with their spouse about their issues and find a solution that works for both parties; or emotions will continue to be buried and will one day explode.

Again, love is a two-way street. When my husband is in a rush and needs to change quickly and leaves his dirty clothes on the floor, knowing I do the laundry because I love him, he should put his dirty clothes in the hamper as soon as possible because he loves me.

So yes “Let us not become weary in doing good.” Galatians 6:9. So husbands stop being buttholes and put your laundry in the hamper, and maybe after that do the dishes, let mom take a bath, etc…

 

 

4 thoughts on “I am not a “Butthole Wife”.

  1. My husband works 12 hour days and is barely home 3 hours a night before we are all in bed. He still offers to help when he gets home, he has learned (AKA-Mama was worked to tears) to ask if I need help. We will be married 17 years next month. Asking for help is where I fail miserably. As a SAHM I feel it is “My” job to do everything in the house. Which I do, from cleaning our 3 toilets, to cleaning the house, food shopping,cooking, bills and Homeschooling our 3 children. I also do anything and everything in between. I literally forget to ask for help. I run myself ragged, emotional & crazy. There is a delicate balance and it is isn’t always easy to find. I think every Mom expects too much of herself and needs to ask for more help from our hubbies and our children. My children all have their own small list of household chores they are expected to do everyday because we are family and we all live in the same house. Therefore we all need to work together to keep our home clean. This is a Great reminder that Moms deserve a break once in awhile too. ❤ Great Post ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you. I read that article too and felt so badly about it but could r muster the words. I need him to help me and be in my team as much as he needs my help and my teamwork. I appreciate this post.

    Like

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