I am not a “Butthole Wife”.

Update

I wrote this blog post in early 2017. I have been updating my blog, and I came across this post. It gave me a chuckle looking back at my early writings. Haha! We have added to our family since I wrote this post, and I can tell you my thoughts in response to the original post have not changed. If anything my thoughts and feelings have gotten stronger. Haha! When I first wrote this post I was a stay at home mom of 1. Now I am a work from home mom of 2, and I have even less time to take care of things around the house causing this post to still resonate with me.

Ok, You Got Me. I’ll Respond.

Today I read a blog post from an individual that was very interesting. It was called “Stop Being a Butthole Wife.” You can read it here. Usually, I read and move on, but this time I felt I needed to write a retort. So here is the other side. I’m not writing this post just for myself, but also for my daughter and future children who will read articles like those one day.  So here I go…

What is Nagging?

I was raised Christian so I understand the concept of women serving their husbands. I get it, but I guess I interpret the idea of “serving” a spouse differently. While I agree that in any relationship there is give and take, and at some points, you will need to pick your battles, relationships should be 100%/100%. Women are not on earth to do every domestic chore for their husbands. I do not believe asking my husband to put his dirty clothes in the hamper, or the washer, or other household chores as nagging.

Doing Things Out of Love

I also get the notion that one day he won’t be around. My husband does not work in a cubicle job. There is a possibility every day when he goes in to work that he might not come home. I live with that reality every single day. So out of love I make his meals, do the laundry, wake up in the middle of the night when he gets home to ask how his day was, but I still don’t fold his laundry and I still expect him to help out around the house. Why? Because I am not his mother, one day I am not going to be here to do all of these things for him, and because he is a role model for his own children. Love is a two-way street.

Teaching Our Kids

I do not want my daughter/children to learn that it is OK for their feelings to be put to the wayside. I do not want my children to feel that when they are frustrated or at their wit’s end with their spouses about things, whether it be laundry, financial issues, issues with the kids, that they bypass or bury that frustration and just throw it in the bucket of “I will miss this when he is gone.” or “I am a nagging wife.”. That is a disservice to them, and they need to speak with their spouse about their issues and find a solution that works for both parties; or emotions will continue to be buried and will one day explode.

Again, love is a two-way street. When my husband is in a rush and needs to change quickly and leaves his dirty clothes on the floor, knowing I do the laundry because I love him, he should put his dirty clothes in the hamper as soon as possible because he loves me.

So yes “Let us not become weary in doing good.” Galatians 6:9. So, in reverse husbands put your laundry in the hamper, and maybe after that do the dishes, let mom take a bath, etc… Haha!